I’ve been struggling to find the words to finally open up my thoughts and feelings. I’ve been afraid…afraid of what people will think. I’m a contradiction of emotions.
So I guess I should tell you…I’m a widow…just trying to find my way through this life on my own. I’m a single mom of four…a grandma to one. I’m trying to figure out just who I am now that I’ve found myself walking this path without my partner and my love. I’m trying to maneuver my way through the maze of dating again, and failing miserably, it seems.
The holidays are bringing all of my emotions to the surface. Sadness. Sadness so deep, it still suffocates me at times. Anger. So much anger at being left alone. Loneliness…
So, as I paste on a smile, my heart sinks lower, knowing I will never wish my love another Merry Christmas.